Fortune Favors the Bold… and the Blonde

Come with me back to the summer of 1990. Here I am, striking a pose in Bath, England, and having the time of my life traveling all over the United Kingdom. This ice blonde lewk was the result of a hair emergency that occurred in my parents’ bathroom in the cosmopolitan metropolis of Fayetteville, Georgia. A quick trip to our local salon transformed my carrot-orange DIY-do into a lovely shade of majestic beige. I absolutely loved it.

Do blondes have more fun? That’s debatable. Even as a brunette, I was born gifted in that arena. However, my blonde bob did come with some surprisingly sexist perks I never expected. While on my summer break from college, I funded my European adventure by working as the hostess of my hometown hotspot, “The Lone Star Cafe.” I’d auditioned the summer before with no luck. Suddenly, with my new hair and flair, I was hired on the spot.

“The Lone Star Cafe” was a honky-tonk restaurant and bar with live performances on the weekends. It was wildly popular on the Southside of Atlanta. What act brought in the biggest crowds? “The Chicken Man,” who was part comedian, part country crooner, and entirely dressed in a chicken costume, was a home run hit every weekend. He was an absolute one-of-a-kind combination that kept hundreds of guests giggling all night. I was but a mere visitor in this strange mash-up world of Hee Haw at the Sizzler. I took this opportunity straight to the bank.

Thanks to my blonde ambition, I was earning about $80 a night plus tips, which often topped $200. It didn’t take long before I’d saved enough to jump the pond, singing David Allen Coe’s “You Don’t Have to Call Me Darlin’, Darlin’.” It was the closer each evening, and we all had to sing it while swinging napkins over our heads in a circle.

My Madonna reinvention makeover definitely gave me a new perspective and confidence to flex talent muscles I never had before. OK, so it was more like a Shania Twain situation in this case. Whatever. When in doubt, remember that fortune favors the bold… and the blonde!